Sunday, December 6
Brian spent the day at the beach, while the boys and I went to my parents house. I worked on a blog update while Dad napped in his chair and Mom took the boys to look around at Bass Pro Shops and Wal-Mart. Nathan bought the dvd of Mall Cop 2.
Monday and Tuesday, December 7-8
School in the mornings and an afternoon trip to the beach on Tuesday,
Wednesday, December 9
Mom picked me up and I went with her and Dad to a Dr. appointment for dad. He got a good report and scheduled another visit 3 months out.
Afterward Dad was hungry, so we stopped at a Mexican restaurant and had lunch together. The busy morning and good lunch wore Dad out, so mom dropped me at the mall and then took dad home for a nap. She picked me up and we did some Christmas shopping.
Thursday, December 10
Last summer mom bought a new little shed for the back yard. The old one was falling apart and the doors would not stay in their tracks, and she just didn't feel safe going in it. She had someone come and hook up electricity to the new one, but asked Brian and the boys to run new waterline to it and dismantle the old shed when we were down for Christmas.
The time had finally come for the project to begin.
Mom and Dad picked up Brian, Luke, Jacob and Caleb after breakfast and they got right to work.
Luke and Brian worked on digging new trench for the waterline. Jacob and Caleb emptied out the old shed and sorted the junk from the good stuff, then started to dismantle the old shed.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday, December 11-13
They all went back again the next day to keep working. That evening Nathan and I joined them and all the boys stayed over night.
Saturday morning, Brian and I got up early and walked to the beach to watch the sunrise.
Then we went to Dollar General to do some reprovisioning. After storing everything back on the boat, we walked 5 miles to the Chinese Buffet for a late lunch. From there we walked a couple miles to Mom and Dad's.
The boys had put together shelving units in the the new shed the night before and had spent the morning filling them.
The boys spent another night with Grandma and Grandpa.
Brian and I spent most on Sunday on the boat. Mom brought the boys back and we went to the beach for a walk. Back on the boat, we played Dutch Blitz, a fun card game our great friends, The Hardee's had sent us.
Monday-Saturday, December 14-19
Each morning the boys did school. In the afternoons they helped Brian remove, clean and install new port lights and hatches. The old ones were crazed, meaning all scratched up. There is a company in Melbourne called Austin Industries that manufactured new at a fraction of the cost to order online.
Brian and Mom got to spend a lot of time together in the car going back and forth dropping off old window templates and picking up new.
During times I needed to shop or Brian needed to run errands, we had one of the boys do their school at the house and sit with Grandpa, so he would not be alone. I am so proud of all my guys for stepping in to just be there so mom could taxi us around.
Saturday, two boats from our club in New Bern were scheduled to be coming through Melbourne on the ICW, on their way south. We asked them to stop and invited them over for dinner. They graciously anchored nearby and we all had a fun evening together.
Mark and Karen from S/V Sea Vu Play, Joe and Kathy from S/V Tarsie
The rest of this post will be detailing my Dad's final days. I am forever grateful that God timed our visit to enable us to be here during this time and for Brian pushing for his dream of living on a boat and cruising. That also enabled us to have an extended visit and be there for mom during this time.
Before being discharged from the hospital back on December 2, they wanted to give Dad a flu shot. Dad wanted it, thinking he was still a volunteer at the hospital and it was required. I cringed, but kept my mouth shut. We had just requested discharge to honor Dad's wishes not to have anything done, so I had to honor his wishes to get the flu shot.
All that to say, that Saturday and Sunday, he wasn't feeling well. We just thought it as a cold or mild case of the flu from the shot. I told mom to pick him up some Alkaseltzer, what he always took while I was growing up. She did and it really got to work. They had breakfast at home, which was rare. Dad Loved to go to Eddie's Sunrise Diner and have biscuits and gravy almost every morning. We had encouraged mom to make something at home, still thinking he just had a bad cold and did not want to spread germs to their friends at the diner.
It was creating so much drainage, he was miserable. He asked her to take him to the Urgent Care Center. She did on Monday morning. They did a breathing test, then requested they go tot he ER for another test, which only the hospital had the equipment for.
Mom called me before they left for the ER letting me know. Brian dropped me off at the base of the bridge and I walked to the hospital. When I arrived, they had just brought him back from the test and were waiting for the results.
Dad was laying on his side int he bed in the ER. He asked for some water so we asked a nurse to get him some, which she did. He kept fiddling with the heart moniter on his finger. I had to get back to the boat before dark, and I didn't want mom to leave dad to take me, so I left around 4 to start the walk back.
Sometime that evening they admitted Dad to the heart center of the hospital.
Tuesday morning Caleb dropped Brian and I off at the base of the bridge and then went back to do school with his brothers.
Brian and I walk to the hospital and spent the day in the room with mom.
When we got there they had just brought him back from a CAT scan and a Physical Therapist was getting him settled in bed. She had tried to have him move from the bed to a recliner chair that was right next to the bed, but Dad didn't have the strength. He was alert and eating well when they brought him food that day. He was on oxygen and the meds to drain fluid from around his heart.
He had two great nurses, Heather and Allie. Heather especially took the extra time to explain things to us.
The breathing test from the day before was to check for blood clots in his lungs. The test came back negative, which we took to be good news. The hospital seemed not so excited. If he had had blood clots, they could give him something to dissolve them. since he did not, they were not sure what exactly was causing his breathing trouble.
At some point in the day, I called my brother, Shaun, to let him know Dad was back in the hospital. He had been planning to come down and visit on Wednesday with his wife and one of his sons. He decided to still come the next day, just to the hospital and not the house.
He was feeling good! So good, he thought he needed to go home, no need for the hospital anymore. In his dementia, he kept trying to swing his leg out of bed to get up and go feed the chickens and hogs on the farm, in Oklahoma, where he had grown up. Each of us kept reassuring him that it was taken care of, the neighbors would feed and do chores tonight, Brian and I would go do it... He wasn't having it. HE had to do it. There were 200 chickens and 500 hogs, the number of birds and value of hogs went up each time he tried to get out of bed.
200, 500, 900 chickens. The hogs,he kept saying were something on the hoof. They were valued in his mind at over $20,000. He said if they got out because they were hungry, he didn't have enough money to replace them. He HAD to feed them! He told me a couple of times how you had to be careful though going to the pen. As soon as they knew food was coming, they would charge the gate and you would have to do two back flips to get out of their way.
He would swing a leg out of bed and each of us would say, "You need to stay in bed." He was so polite, "I appreciate all your doing, but I Have to go do the chores." When he got really frustrated and out of patience , he told the nurse, who we had called in to help keep him in bed, "LADY!" and then repeat, "I appreciate all your doing..."
All the while we kept reassuring him it was taken care of, one time he called me out on it, "WHO? is going to do it?" The next day I realized I should have told him Shaun, my brother was doing chores.
As a last ditch effort, he asked me, then Brian to just go down to the pick up truck in the parking lot, and bring him his overalls and shirt. He promised the nurse he would come right back to the hospital after doing his chores.
The nurses ended up giving him 1 1/2 tablets of Atavan to settle him down.
About 5pm they came to take him down for an MRI. We debated the necessity of it, but in the end, they did take him down for the test.
A little while later, 3 people charged into the room. It was the two nurses and the floor charge nurse. The head nurse said, " There is no easy way to say this, but Richard fell off the gurney in the MRI dept."
They could not do the MRI anyway, apparently Dad had a piece of metal in one eye. We, especially Mom had never heard of such a thing. Dad never said anything and his eye doctors never said anything, he had never complained of any pain in his eye. He had had his glasses on when he fell and they had gotten broken.
Soon they brought Dad back, sore and groggy. They put a heat pack on his back, but that soon made him too hot. He doctor ordered x-rays, but they never did them.
We left soon after they got him settled back in bed.
Wednesday, December 23
Mom picked up all of us after breakfast. We dropped the boys off at their house to do some laundry and cleaning for Christmas. They said they would see Grandpa another time, when we offered to bring them to the hospital and then they could walk back to the house later.
The night before, the hospital had called Mom and told her that they were going to have a sitter in the room with Dad. It was a precaution in case he tried to get out of bed again. She was totally fine with that. All of his stay, he wore a bracelet stating he was a fall risk.
Once at the hospital, we went up to his room and discovered they had moved him in the night. We found the new room and were shocked when we walked in.
Dad could hardly talk and when he did it was very garbled and and hard to understand. He did not have much of an appetite. The day before I had promised him that I would bring him biscuits and gravy for breakfast. I did, and he ate a bite or two.
He was having trouble swallowing, so they put him on thickened liquids, like honey water, and thickened tea, apple sauce,etc. The doctor also ordered some swallow test, but it never got administered.
When the Dr. came on his rounds, we talked to him in the hallway about Hospice. He agreed and that started the process. The Hospice social worker came and visited with us about options. Mom did not feel comfortable about caring for him at home, where she would be the main caregiver and a hospice nurse would come a few time a week. The Hospice nurse would come and evaluate him later in the day to see if he qualified for the Hospice House down in Palm Bay. He qualified, and Mom was relieved to hear that Medicare would cover all expenses. Brian and Mom went down to sign paper work. We were told that after getting the medicines delivered to the hospice house they could transfer Dad within a 4 hour window.
I could not believe how fast things were moving. My sister in KS had been on and off the phone with Mom all day, and she asked me to send her a picture of Dad.
That afternoon, some friends of Mom and Dad's came to visit. Noah and Mary Lou live in the same park. He played his harmonica and sang
Dad really enjoyed it. Before they left, we gathered around the bed and Noah led us in prayer.
Soon after my brother, sister-in-law and nephew arrived. I am sure they were shocked to see the condition Dad was in. We visited and just sat with Dad.
Dad was freezing to the touch, but he kept throwing off his covers and asking for the fan. His socks were off, but he asked each of us at one time or another to take them off. His speech was improving to be a little more understandable. He called people by name. When Mom was out signing papers, he would ask where Sherelyn was. When she came back he kept looking to her and asked if it was time to go home yet. She just smiled at him and said not yet.
At 8pm the transport came for Dad. We left shortly after and went to the Hospice House. When we were able to go back and see Dad, he was snuggled in bed and was on oxygen. All afternoon he had been so restless. It was so nice to see him in a relaxed state. We didn't stay long. We each said goodnight and that we would see him in the morning. We fully expected to be making the trip to see him each day for the next weeks/months.
A little after 4am Thursday morning, the phone rang. Mom calling to say that Dad had passed. He wasn't in Hospice even 7 hours.
I called my brother. He made plans to come to Moms house about mid morning to begin sorting things and planning. He got there about 10:30. We emptied the filing cabinets and began sorting.
Shaun, Mom, Brian and I went to the funeral home at 1pm. Dad had wanted to be creamated. Mom chose a simple wooden box for him.
Christmas day my brother and his family came over for Christmas lunch. We ate and reminised about Dad. Brian took them out to the boat for a tour. They went home soon after.
Sunday afternoon the pastor of Mom's church came and met with us to plan a service for Wednesday afternoon.
The following days were used to continue cleaning and sorting, fixing little things around the house. Replacing the doorbell button, new batteries in the smoke detector, Brian and the boys, with Shaun replaced the hot water heater.
The neighbors were so kind in bringing foods over.
Wednesday came, and the service was perfect. The pastor presented the gospel, a friend/neighbor sang a fitting song, Shaun gave a wonderful eulegy recapping Dad's long, full life of service to his Lord and fellow man.
My nephew, Andrew, designed the programs.
Brian's dad, Rodger, sent a beautiful bouquet from all of the Brooks side of the family.
After the service, we got a photo of Mom and the McLaury/Brooks men.
We all miss Dad, but know he is in Heaven with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and we will all see him again one day.
1 comment:
Kerri, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. As you said, praise the Lord that we have the hope and assurance of eternal life! I was just in Wichita for Christmas and we found out that my dad has a very serious liver condition. So I read this blog post with a lot of fresh emotions on my part. Thank you for sharing it. Blessings to you and Brian in the new year. Laura "Daeschner" Kanzeg
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